


I Did, Then I Didn't (Remastered Version of I Do I Did)

by awstenlota



Category: Fall Out Boy, I Don't Know How But They Found Me (Band), The Academy Is...
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Cheating, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gaslighting, Major Original Character(s), Multi, Substance Abuse, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27618662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awstenlota/pseuds/awstenlota
Summary: SO.i basically. rewrote i do i did. ALL CREDITS TO KAYISWRITING ON WATTPAD!!!!i didn't put meagan in the characters bc i don't think she has a tag im a newbieanyway this version actually has patrick and william getting togethertw // verbal abuse, substance abuss, alcoholism, gaslighting
Relationships: Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz, William Beckett/Patrick Stump





	1. Awoken

I slowly pried my eyes open, unaware of what had happened to me. I crankily moaned, bit by bit attempting to process my surroundings. I couldn't help but notice a blurred figure next to me. His voice echoed in my ears, as if I had regained my ability to hear again. Everything was a blur—what happened to me, and most importantly, where is Pete? I hear more voices coming from left and right and they slowly got clearer, so did my vision. “Patrick! You're-you're awake! Oh my God,” My brain registered the voice coming from the figure standing next to me. It's Matteo, my childhood best friend. The familiarity came back. I weakly smiled. “What happened to me?” I weakly murmured, squinting my eyes. Matteo looked up and gave a look to his boyfriend, Elliot. The moment they looked up, Ryan and Dallon walked into the room. Shocked, Ryan ran toward me and hugged me. A few tears fell down his face, I could sense that he was happy to see me again. He pulled away from my chest and looked at me in the eyes. “You're alive!” he sobbed. “I missed you so much, Trick! You won't understand!” I was still confused as to what happened to me. All I remember was how me and Pete were heading off to Target, and then everything after that is a blur. How long has it been? Why am I here? Was I dead? Most importantly: Is Pete okay? 

I looked at Ryan, as he dried off the tears off his face. I proceeded to question, “Ryan..what happened to me? Where's Pete? Is he okay?” 

Ryan moved away slowly, a frown forming on his face. Everyone's faces dimmed down as soon as his name escaped from my weak, pale, chapped lips. It's as if something bad happened. He cleared his throat, looking at Dallon and Matteo before answering my question. He sighed, closing his eyes. “You...you were in a coma, Patrick. For two years. It's 2020 now.” I couldn't believe it. I was in a coma? I was practically dead for two years? He stopped for a moment, before continuing. “And..and..Pete's..okay..-” He quickly got cut by Elliot, who pulled him to the side and whispered to him. After a few minutes, they parted and Ryan finished his sentence. “He's alive now. That's.. that's all I can tell you.” He smiled slightly before walking out for a while with Elliot. Dallon and Matteo were the only ones in the room with me, so I naturally asked more. I noticed how they both were looking really anxious and unsure, but I brushed it off as being still processing me waking up after two years. “How's Pete now?” That question alone made the two of them shiver. I raised an eyebrow, awaiting for my answer. As soon as they were going to speak, Ryan stormed into the room, a serious expression on his face. 

“Patrick,” he whispered. “I have to tell you something.” The atmosphere in the room tensed up, I don't have a good feeling about this. “Pete..he..he got married to Meagan while you were in a coma.” he sighs, and I burst into tears as those words echoed in the room. Shocked, I choke out some words. “W-what?! He cheated on me?” All four of them shook their heads, but that got me even more confused. Matteo got closer to me and held my hand. He rested his chin on my hand and said, “This was not mutual. Ask Meagan. She'll tell you the truth.” 

“No, you're lying!” I hissed. “She-she stole my fucking husband, and you're here saying that she was forced?!” I was now ugly crying for the first time in two years. What a day. He shook his head again, now burying his head in my hands. “She doesn't wanna be there! I swear Patrick! She's carrying his baby and that's the only reason she's hanging on!” I pulled my hand away from Matteo and he stepped back. Ryan stepped in, “Patrick, Pete almost fucking died!” I narrowed my eyes at him. 

“Is that a valid reason for her to steal my fucking husband?! Is it?! Tell me,” I pulled his hand. “Is it, Seaman?!” 

He shook his head guiltily. “No, but—” I cut him off. “Then? It doesn't give her the right to do that! I'm gonna fucking kill her, I fucking swear to God!” Matteo got a hold on me and tried to calm me down but I pushed away. 

“I hate her. She stole my husband while I was her—” I heard a familiar voice. Pete. “Patrick!” He grinned, Meagan trailing behind. Huh, she's pregnant. He got closer to hug me, but I gave him a tight slap. He gasped, Meagan holding his arm and looking at him worryingly. I exploded. “You fucking cheater!” I threw a cup of coffee on him, splashing everywhere. The nurses started to run into my room, but I was too pissed off to care. I had to. 

“How fucking dare you marry her while I was fucking unconscious!” 

Pete looked at me. “It's not what you thought, Soul Punk!” My heart wrenched as I heard that pet name.

“You don't call me that, you unfaithful fucker!” I snarled. I stared at Meagan, her trembling in fear. I showed no mercy, of course I wouldn't. She married an unavailable man, who was broken by the loss of his loved one. Seemed like I was replaceable. A tool. 

“You homewrecker,” I cursed. Those words pierced through the both of them like poisoned knives. “Who the fuck gave you the right to steal my husband, huh?” 

“I-I.. I didn't—” 

I yelled, “You don't give me fucking excuses, you fucking bitch! I don't give a flying motherfuck that you're carrying my husband's baby, and that you were 'forced' to,” I paused to take a breather. “All I know is that you just wanted to see me suffer, right?! You just wanted to see me fight for my husband after a car accident, right?”

She stuttered. “P-Patrick..I-I...I'm.. suffering as.. as much as you are…I..I..can't let him go..p-please.” I simply rolled my eyes and scoffed. Those are just white lies. Those are fake fucking tears. Fake sympathy from a desperate woman. 

“Huh, now you're on your knees? You didn't think this through, did you, Meagan?” 

She surprisingly shook her head. “I.. I did, Patrick.” 

I scoffed again. “You and your little white lies. Hey, woman. I won't just stand here and deal with your shit. Once I get home, you'll know who you're fucking messing with.”

Matteo, Elliot, Dallon and Ryan, along with the five nurses who were watching could only just sit and watch, as if they were witnessing a madman. And yes, I could be considered one. Pete and Meagan, however, heartbroken and possibly guilty over all this, decided to leave. All Pete last said were these poisonous five words; “Patrick, I still love you.” 

Ryan, being Pete's PR manager, walked out with Dallon, catched up with Pete and probably talked about me, whereas Elliot left for a smoke break. That left only me and Matteo in the room, where he was still processing what happened a few moments ago. He sinks subconsciously into the seat, sighing. “Patrick, you shouldn't've let it all out on a pregnant woman, especially when that's your husband's wife. Don't think that's a nice thing to do.” I ignored him. He sighs again, pulling me back to face him. I groaned. God, I don't give a fuck! I already know it's gonna be hell once I arrive back home. 

“Mate, you have to realise what you're doing is gonna further ruin your relationship with Pete!” 

“Matteo. He cheated on me, got married, and now he's having a baby with her. What do you think I'm supposed to feel?” He looks at me. Matteo is a really understanding man, and because his mom is a therapist, since young he was taught how to talk to people and not to be judgemental. This is why you rarely see him get angry, because he knows how to control emotions. Unlike me. I burst and explode uncontrollably. “I know it's heartbreaking to hear something like that, but please have some empathy for Meagan. She doesn't wanna be there. Trust me, she is slowly starting to get comfortable, but the last thing she wants from you is getting yelled at.” I sighed. 

Tears started brimming in my eyes. “God, I feel guilty now. D-do you have her number?” Matteo grabs his phone and scrolls through his contacts. He nodded, handing his phone to me. He smiled. “Go. Apologise. I'm sure she'll understand.” I was doubtful about that. Are you sure she'd apologise for throwing coffee at her husband and also spitting insults at her like I'm fucking Gordon Ramsay? Oh God..I'll probably be scolded by Pete! But, who cares. I'm ready. So, I dialed the number. Moments later, a sweet, soft voice answers. It's Meagan, and she sounds completely unaffected by what I spat earlier. “Matteo! It's been so long since we spoke, love. How are you and El goin'?” She smiles, anticipating Matteo's rough voice to greet her. But I responded instead. A regretful sigh escapes my mouth. “Meag. It's.. Patrick.” She sighs softly, but I could hear a tiny smile forming on her sweet lips. I've never heard her talk shit about anyone, she always speaks out her mind in the nicest of ways. She only talks when it's necessary. She talks, but softly. Like she always does. “Hi, are you looking for Pete? He's at the office now.” I got straight to the point. My heart raced, but this is for the good of me, Pete and Meagan. I don't want to be a foe. I want to be a friend. Even with the woman who stole my husband. “No.. no, I'm actually calling.. to talk to you.” She lets out a barely audible 'oh', before allowing me to continue. “I.. just wanted to say, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lashed out at you, I should've controlled myself, I'm really sorry Meag, I really am! Please, if you could find any space in your heart, forgive me.” 

She didn't take long to respond. And she seemed to forgive me. Seems like she wasn't affected at all. “It's okay, Patrick. I understand how you feel. I know you feel angry to see me in you and Pete's house.” I managed to choke out a few words before she continued. “Wait—no, I'm not angry.” 

“I can let go of Pete if you want me to.”

She said that with such calmness and assurance, it's frightening. It's like she's ready to let him go, but I feel like she deserves him. She knew him longer than I did. She loves him. She sacrificed her body to carry his child for nine months. But, she is so ready to let him go. For whatever reason, she's always uncomfortably calm. I spoke a bit more. “Wait—what? I'm not forcing you to leave him, Meag, no. You're carrying his child! I'm the one who should leave.” She simply smiled again. 

“I can live on my own. I have Matteo. He can take care of me.” Matteo is actually her cousin, that explains why she depends on him alot. “I can let him go. No matter how much he begs me to.” I got confused at this point. Begs her to? What does that even supposed to mean? I asked, “Begs you to stay? Hold on. What has he been doing?” 

She sighs, but now her tone of voice becomes more wary. “I can't tell you yet. You have to experience it. He'll drive you nuts.” She stopped to catch her breath. “If you want out—me and Matteo can help. Anytime.” Drive me nuts? I have to experience it to believe it? I clarified, “He'll drive me nuts?” She hums. Before hanging up, she left me a weird message. “You'll see how I suffer under him. You'll suffer too, and you'd want out. But for you—you have to act swift, fast and be decisive.” I hand the phone back to Matteo. 

I ask him a question. “Matteo?” He hummed. “Can't she divorce him? Or, can I divorce him?” He shook his head initially, and then nodded. Does that mean, I can let him go, but she can't? I need to know more. But first, I want to go back home. To see how bad it is. I want to see how she and Matteo can help me divorce him. That's one solid one. “That's sad. Wow.” Matteo sighs. 

“I pity her. Sad that my aunt cared more about the money. Should've stayed in Sweden.” He got up and grabbed his bag. “It's almost seven. I should head home. I'll visit you tomorrow, mate.” I smiled. “Sure. Stay safe, Matteo.” He giggled. “You too, nerd.” As he closed the room door, I turned off the lights and slowly drifted to sleep, thinking about Pete and all that stuff. I'm exhausted, and I want this to be all over.


	2. William

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> . pete and patrick fight again they go home and he's reminded of william beckett

“Good mornin', baby,” smiled Pete, placing a cup of Starbucks on the side table. I'm getting discharged tonight, so I'm stoked. What I'm not stoked about is well, liar, cheater, pants-on-fire Pete is here this morning. Matteo is busy this morning because he has a meeting with his staff at his record label, Elliot the same thing, Ryan at work and Dallon doing his usual music thing. I can't be bothered to ask about Meagan, because I texted her at 2 AM today and she said she's busy so she can't visit me. So, it leaves me with Mr. White Lie Pete Wentz here. I ignored his coos and continued watching the TV. He holds my hand and kisses it. I pulled it away, wiping it off. “I'm not touching you,” I snarl. He chuckles, leaning closer toward me. I started to feel increasingly uncomfortable. He had his eyes on my body; as if he was looking at it naked. It's only 8 AM and I'm already viewed as a sex tool. Ah, Pete. Rich dude with a company, probably got a hell ton of sex and ladies while I was away, in La La Land, in a coma. 

Was I so special that he probably is having eye contact sex with me at 8 in the morning? 

Feeling uncomfortable, definitely. Get me out now. Fuck this. “Stop looking at me like that,” I stared. He looked impressed, or shall I say, surprised? “Trying to be bossy, huh, Stump?” 

Ah yes, do that to me. I definitely love it. (No I don't.) 

I'm already getting annoyed by him. And it's only been five minutes since he walked in. I burst into laughter. “I just don't like you looking at me like that. Huh, you're definitely sex-starved.” I teased, my eyes stayed glued to the TV. Until he grips my face and pulls it toward him. He pulls my face closer, his breath touching my nose. He looked angry. To me, he looks like an upset five-year old child. Upset because his mom didn't get him the gummy bears. Aww. Disgusting, and ABSOLUTELY not adorable. Vomit-inducing, repulsive. “Hey,” he spat. “I'm your husband. You,” he points at my chest, looks at it before returning to face my eyes. “Listen to me. I'm not gonna let you go that easily. You and Meagan, you two are _mine_.” I couldn't do anything but laugh. But he made his grip tighter, and his stare more convincing. Now, we're talking.

What a show I'm witnessing! What is this? Millionaire Tries To Win His Husband Who Was In a Coma for Two Years with Shallow Intimidation? 

“No laughing matter, baby. I'll make sure you love me again. You will be with me forever.” He sweetly smiles. God, I feel like I'm in some cliché horror movie where I get Stockholm Syndrome and fall in love with my kidnapper. I'm making a deal with myself that I'm not going to take his threats seriously. “If you wanted me, you shouldn't have married Meagan.” He narrowed his eyes. 

“I married her for a reason, Soul Punk.”

I audibly 'LOL'-ed. Yeah. LOL. Because this is an LOL moment. “Did you sign a contract or something? Or she chose you?” I was, for your interest, actually curious. Not being sarcastic here. He kept silent, pulling me for a kiss immediately. I didn't even have time to dodge. Hold on, I like this. 

Oh wait, nevermind. I taste cigarettes. Eww. I pulled away, wiping my tongue and chugging my water bottle. He attempted to pull for one more but I pushed away. “Why don't you wanna kiss me?” he whined. “Do you not love me anymore?” I have no idea what he's trying to achieve here, but he's probably trying to manipulate me. I'm not standing for this shit. 

Hold on. Is _this_ what Meagan meant? Manipulation? Is _this_ what he's doing to her? That's disgusting. What the fuck is this? Has he lost his damn marbles? I got distracted by this thought for a few moments, before I felt Pete's hand grabbing my arm and just gripping it with extreme force. That got me out of the thought and slapped his hand. “What are you trying to do?!” I exclaimed. “What has gotten into you?” 

“I have no fucking clue,” he laughs creepily. “But I know that I'm not okay.” 

He smirks, caressing my neck and face. “All because of you, Patrick. Because of you, I lost my sanity. I lost my head. And I lost my train of thought.” 

What. The. Fuck. I fear for my life now. I fear for Meagan more even. No wonder she's always at home. She's scared. I muttered, “Did you also lose your sense? Marrying yourself off to Meagan? With money? Or so I heard.” That infuriated him. He sends a tight slap toward my face. I didn't even flinch, and continued staring at him in disbelief. 

“I did not marry her for money. Matteo's lying. I married her because I fucking love her. She was there when you were gone.”

“Pete, I've known Matteo for most of our lives. Meagan maybe a bit less, but anyway. He never lies.” There he giggles. Like a maniac. 

“She initially wanted out, but I got her pregnant, so she can't get out. I have her to myself.” He then laughs again. So it's practically kidnap. Or is it? Probably. I already don't like how this sounds. Seems like she was forced to marry him, or is he gaslighting Meagan? Changing the story, to fit to his narrative? 

What Matteo and Meagan mentioned was only money. They didn't disclose the other parts. I believe her. 

I want her out, but it seems like she has to stay. Unfortunately, I'm the only one with the chance of escape. All I'm left with is a job and someone to be my reason. 

“That's fucking disgusting what you did. I can't believe I even married you.”

He sits down and holds my hand. “Be proud, baby. You're just being too naive. What I'm doing is for the good of all of us, and our _children_.” he said. “You're overreacting. All the bullshit Matteo said is false. Just trust me, you probably forgot.” 

“My memory is fine, Peter. You're just trying to gaslight me and Meagan, right? Stop being so miserable. You'll let me go eventually.” 

He snaps again. “I am NEVER going to let ANY of you go. Not even EVER. You both are mine. Mine!” He then pulls me up and kisses me again, now his hand exploring my body. I try to push him away and get increasingly uncomfortable. I try to shout for help, but he shushes me. Slapping me again, he whispered, “You fucking shut. You're not going anywhere.” 

I groan, panicking. “Let me go!” At that point, conveniently, Matteo barges in. “Pete! What are you doing?!” He immediately froze when he heard his voice. Matteo forcefully pulled Pete away, slapping his face and punching it right after. His face was fuming red. “Have you lost your mind, Pete?” he questions. “I said, have you lost your fucking mind, Wentz?!” he shouted, pulling his shirt. Pete tries to make him let go, but Matteo's grip was too strong. He immediately retaliated. “You're telling lies to my husband and wife, aren't you? You want to separate me from them. You like seeing them vulnerable. They are NOTHING without me.” he stated. It's like Matteo's dad isn't a rich dude. Does he realise that Matteo is the son of a really trusted politician back home in Germany? And that his mom owns a really successful company in her home country, Sweden? Not mentioning his record label too, that he formed with his boyfriend Elliot. I'm basically saying that Matteo is filthy rich. 

He can easily buy houses for the both of us, cars and also pay me and Meagan's hospital bills. 

Yeah, he's _that_ rich. 

Matteo scoffed. “Pete, do you realise that I'm capable of supporting them? And do you realise that your company is bleeding out revenue? Bet you didn't know that.” He smirked. That sentence struck Pete hard. Seemed like he didn't know. “W-what..? Wh-where did you hear that?! I'm not losing money!” Matteo decided to pull out the newspaper under my table. The headline read, 'Millionaire Pete Wentz's company losing money — investors pulling out fast'. My eyes widened. Holy shit. Losing money? Fast? God, seems like everything went downhill. Shaken by what he had read, Pete snatched the paper from Matteo's hands and looked at it. He took a swift read. He's sweating and trembling. He's afraid. I've never seen him so terrified. This is a first. “This...this is fake!” he murmured. He tore and crumpled the paper, tears falling from his face. “No...no, this..this isn't happening!” he sobbed. “You did this, didn't you?” He's accusing Matteo now. Classic move. 

Matteo could only laugh in his face. “As if. Ask your staff. They all know what's happening.”

“You're lying!” 

“I'm not. I can call Ryan if you want to. He knows too.” 

Pete stood up and faced Matteo. You can imagine me just staring, in my hospital gown. Wow. It's a free Broadway show. 

“Call him. I dare you.” With no hesitation, Matteo calls Ryan. He answers, skeptical on why he was calling him in the morning. “It's true that your company is losing money, right? Investors are pulling out, aren't they?” I hear Ryan humming, and that means yes, he is losing money. Pete grabbed the phone from Matteo and shouted at Ryan. “You're fucking lying, I'm not losing money!” Ryan, taken aback by the shouting, replied, “I'm not. Everyone is talking about it. You better brush up dude. Stop keeping your wife locked at home alone.”

Wait—what did I just hear? Locked? I interrupted. “Give me the phone.” Pete declined, but Matteo snatched his phone back and handed it to me. “Ryan, it's Patrick. I just wanted to ask, does Pete _actually_ keep her locked at home? Because if tha—” Pete unexpectedly takes the phone, hangs up and throws it at Matteo. “I do.” He said that confidently. Of course naturally I get angry. “WHAT?! You're seriously keeping her locked in at home?” Matteo stepped in and pushed both of us away. “No more fucking fighting. No fucking more. I'm tired.” He turns to Pete. “You stop doing that.” Then to me. “Don't go so smarty-pants. He knows how to maneuver around. So don't think you can outsmart him.” 

He pushes Pete out and locks the door, turning the signboard to the 'Nurses please ring the bell to go in' side. He wanted to talk to me personally. Matteo grabs a chair and sits next to me. He sighs, interlocking his fingers. He looks at me. “Patrick, I'm sorry he did that to you.” His eyes glistening, he rubs them. Matteo doesn't want to cry. I reached out and rubbed his shoulder. He tries to hold them back, but eventually he bursts into tears. “Matteo..it's okay. I can handle it well. You don't have to worry, yeah?” He wiped his tears off and looked at me again. Matteo pulled me into a hug. He cries onto my chest. I heard him, barely. “He's such a jerk, I'm really sorry.” He wailed. I smiled, rubbing his back. I rest my chin on his shoulder, and leaned my head on his. 

“I already said, Matteo. It's okay. I'll try to deal with it.” 

He moved away, grabbing a napkin and wiped his face. “Patrick, I have a question.” 

I hummed. “How did you meet him? And why the fuck did you decide to marry him?” 

The golden question. Ah, how I was so naive and stupid. I was probably 23, he was maybe 24. We met at an art exhibition, where I was there as a performing guest with me, Matteo and Elliot's old band, Parasites. Matteo bass, me guitar and vocals and Elliot drums. We were pretty big, and we actually went on tour twice. I met Pete there, and because (if my mind recalled) he was on The Apprentice, I recognised him. I mentioned that I had a celebrity crush on him, and there it kickstarted our friendship. We shortly got married after, and a year after I got in a car accident somehow and here we are. I'm currently 27, still gay, in a horrible marriage and missing my parents. How exciting. “Um,” I answered. “Art exhibition where we performed at? In Manchester? The one where I tried jumping off the stage, but got scolded for?” Matteo's eyes widened. He started blinking unnecessarily. He looked shocked, and probably remembered that time. Back then we were still Uni kids, and also stupid. That decision I made to talk to Pete was by far, the stupidest idea I've ever thought of. “Spectra Exhibition, Manchester 2014?” he queried. I nodded. “Yup.” His jaw dropped. 

“You're fucking kidding me, Patrick. And you got married just a year later?!” 

I sighed. “I was so stupid.” Matteo rolled his eyes. “Didn't you have a crush on my other friend, William? From The Academy Is…?” 

He still fucking remembers that. We saw them during Reading 2015, before they got signed to back then, Matteo's newly formed label, Arcade. I remember William made eye contact with me, and held my hand. Of course, being the gay ass I am, I fell in love with him. Funnily enough, he knows me. I'm technically already signed with them, but I'm registered as a solo artist. Luckily, while I was in that horrifying coma, my solo work actually sold out. Both my EP and album I worked on before and when I was newly married. I went on tour shortly before I landed into this..um..situation. “Yes I did, and lowkey? I still do.” I joked. “Shh, don't tell Pete!” We both laughed. Matteo turned his head back to check outside. Pete was gone, god bless. 

“He's gone!” Matteo grabbed his phone, to check for any messages from Meagan. And there was one. He looked back up, with a worried look on his face. I tilted my head, and raised an eyebrow. “W-what's wrong?” He looked at me. 

I'm scared. 

Pfft. Just kidding. When am I ever scared? 

Okay but seriously—I'm a tad bit nervous. “You're going home now. Um, Pete just went and signed you off. Y-yeah. Just be ready. Get changed.” 

“Sure.” I said, getting up to change. I wore something quite me—a shirt and cardigan with the skinniest jeans imaginable. I stood in front of the mirror, looking at myself for the first time in two years. Woah. I look old. I straightened my cardigan and brushed up my hair. Matteo walked up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. We both giggled. “You look HOT,” Matteo whispered. 

I chuckled. “Of course, this is the hottie of the century, you're talking to, Krause.” 

He pulled his arms away and crossed them on his chest. “Don't use my last name. People'll barge in and ask if I'm related to a politician.” I raised an eyebrow. 

“You're in America. I don't think they know much about Germany. You know, they all think the US is the only country.” I joked. Obviously, Matteo didn't find it funny. Typical Matteo. 

“Didn't you grow up in Germany with me?” No, Matteo. We lived in Newcastle. He's confusing me with his cousin with the same name, and practically the same face. I shook my head. “You speak in a weird Northern English-German-Swedish accent. I, however, speak in an Americanised British accent. We grew up in England.” 

We're all European by the way, Matty decided, fuck America. Making everyone British because, you know how he is. (Fourth wall break because he wanted it.) 

“Oh.” The only word he vocalised. 

Only a few moments later, the Devil burst in. Just joking—it's Pete. With that fake smile plastered on his face. I physically gagged. He walked up to me and held my hand. Well, he tried to, before I pulled my hand away. Pete clasped my face, pulling me in for a kiss. Again, tastes like whiskey and cigarettes. Repulsive. He pulled away, smiling again. “Let's head home, baby,” he cooed. I rolled my eyes, walking past him and grabbing my bag. He quickly followed, with Matteo making a beeline toward me. He catched up and put his arm around my neck. “You're so quick, nerd,” Matteo blurted. “Oompa Loompa is taking a stroll around, so we can hang out and smoke weed in the car. Sounds fun?” I nodded, pressing the lift button. 

“Won't Big Baby be angry?” Big Baby is Pete. That was Elliot's nickname for him. It still is, and I find it absolutely HILARIOUS. Matteo shrugged. “Meh, he drinks whiskey and smokes cigs on the regular, I don't think he's got a problem with weed.” We walked in the lift and down we went. Our conversation continued. “Is he like..an alcoholic?” I asked. 

Matteo nodded. “Mhm, big one.” Yikes. 

I looked at him, wide-eyed. “Seriously?” 

“'Course. Why'd I lie to you?” 

I scratched my neck. “Dunno.” The lift door opened and out we went to Pete's car. We immediately recognised it, since it was the only red coloured Maserati among all the Honda Civics and Priuses. Screamed rich to me. Surprisingly, Matteo had the spare keys and he hopped in the backseat and I, in the passenger seat. We shut the door and he passed me a vape-looking thing. I turned back to look at him, holding the thing. He already was smoking. “Matteo, what's this?” He blew a cloud in my face and coarsely answered, “It's a vape, idiot. Just do it.” I tried a puff. Damn, tastes good. I let out a small yell. “Fuck, this hits hard, Matteo!” he laughed. 

“Just vibe with me, Trick. Before Mad Bitch arrives.” 

Funnily enough, he was a few feet away. We both hid our vapes and unlocked the car doors. He hopped in, and started driving. He hasn't smelled the weed. Yet. 

As we drove, he turned on the radio. A few songs I've never heard of played before the radio dude said something that rang a bell. William Beckett. “Alright, San Fran, here is Jo Flow, with you on Hits 102.5! Today is a special day for us. Why?” he said, along with a crowd of excited screams from his friends in the studio. I get tensed up. Matteo seemed excited. “Because The Academy Is… has a new song out! It's called Same Blood, and this is the first time it's played on Radio! The lead, William has said this is partially about a friend of his that landed in a coma two years ago, and just woke up fairly recently.” Hold on, what? 

Is it about me? It can't be. I looked behind at Matteo. He's texting someone. God, I'm so nervous. The DJ continued. “I hope that friend is listening right now, because here is TAI with Same Blood!” he announced, before the song played. I hear guitar. This sounds nice. Then, his voice starts. 

_Like a cold day in August_

_I was not prepared for this_

_You'd think that nobody noticed_

_The way that you still care about it_

_By all the people we need to love and hate_

_Everybody makes the same mistakes_

_Divided by these walls_

_Together we are lost_

I started to tear up a bit. We hung out many times before the accident, and we got really close. Then, the coma happened and according to Elliot, Pete became more protective and didn't let William get close to me. That made him heartbroken, obviously, but I'm overwhelmed. He didn't forget me. He still remembers me. He still loves me as a friend. 

Well, the last statement isn't really true. We both liked each other. We knew each other a year before I met Pete. Along the way, we had feelings, but I was too blinded by my 'love' for Pete, so we parted. We stayed friends, disregarding the fact that we still liked each other. I can't deny it—I think he's the one. William will be my reason. He's the one I love. I married Pete because I followed my head. I liked him because he loved me. For my looks. How nice I am. But William loved the true me. The Patrick who loves running around, skating and hanging out at the Aldi at 3 AM, chasing each other while we look stupid. Pete loved the porcelain perfect Patrick, the artistic Patrick, smart with words, funny, charismatic. I was blinded. Not by his wealth—I just thought Pete was better than William. 

How now I know that was a major mistake. I married him so quickly. I did love Pete, I really did. But my feelings for William stayed. 

And I found out he still loves me. 

William called last night. Said how he missed me. Said how he can't wait to see me in the Arcade studios. How he couldn't wait to hold me in his arms again. How I forget about Pete whenever we're together. 

How he wanted to help me escape. 

And now I'm crying. Full on sobbing like an idiot. Pete reached his hand out and rubbed my back. “Are you okay?” I wiped my tears, nodding slowly. “Y-yeah. I'm okay, Pete.” He pulled his hand away and back to the steering wheel. By now, the song ended and now they were about to interview William. I'm going to hold back my tears. Try to, at least. 

He starts talking. The familiar voice. The raspy, northern accent. “Hi, it's William from The Academy Is.” 

“Oh, why did I write a lot of sad songs on Santi? Like the scrapped version? Oh, um, it's because I was really sad. It's something—um, personal. About the friend I previously mentioned. Yeah. I had feelings for them. They did too. But it was unfortunate what happened to them.” 

He wrote a scrapped version? All about me? 

He continued. “It was supposed to be called, 'Paradise In A Broken Mirror'. Then I wrote the new version and named it Santi. Yeah.” Paradise In A Broken Mirror? That's what he said after I got married to Pete. I was with him, alone when Pete had to go home for a bit. I remembered, me laid there in my inner shirt with him, staring at the orange English light. 

_“Patrick, it seems like our paradise is in a broken mirror. You see, you'd think it's impossible. But, believe me, one day, it'll get back together as one mirror and we'll get that paradise.”_

I heard the DJ question him. “William, who is this friend, if you're comfortable sharing? It's fine if you won't.” He sighed. “It's someone. They're listening now. You know who you are.” He's talking to me. At that exact moment, I got a message from him. 

**William: Hey. You're listening, aren't you? I'm talking to you.**

**yea I am. Pete's next to me. Heading home xx**

**William: I miss you sweetpea. <3**

**: miss you too x**

**William: When are you back in the studio?**

**: next week or so. depends if psycho man lets me out :')**

**William: Hope so, Trick. Manifesting!! :)**

**: thanks will, cheers for the new song, it fucks!!**

**William: glad you like it. Gotta be back on air, see ya soon cheeky nerd ;)**

**_: 🙄 okay then haha jk, see ya love xx_**

I smiled slightly at my phone, and a picture of me and William. Pete tried to look but I turned it off before he could see. He raised an eyebrow. “Who was that?” 

****

I answered immediately. “A friend.”

****

It's not. Obviously not.

****


	3. William, Meagan and Her Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> patrick talks to william then meagan and then yea

We now arrived at Pete's huge mansion somewhere in the California mountains. We parked and headed in. Meagan was already there, ready to meet me again. As we made eye contact, I ran up to her and gave her a hug. “I'm glad you're here, Patrick.” she greeted. I grinned. “Me too, at least I'm not stuck in that depressing hospital.” We both giggled, before Pete pulled me out and into the bedroom. 

He placed my bag next to the wardrobe and took off his jacket. “You're gonna sleep here, with me and Meagan. You're in the middle.” He pointed at the middle, where I'm supposed to sleep. I can accept that. I don't sleep like a wild dude. This should work. I raised a question. “So, where do I do my job?” He took me to my old home studio, untouched and still looking fresh. 

I missed this place. “Here. I won't disturb you if you're in here.” Good to hear. That means, I can call up Matteo and probably William and hang out. Pete pulled me to the side, holding my hands. “You're so beautiful, you know that?” he muttered. “I love you so much,” he kissed my hand. “I will never hurt you, or Meagan, ever. I promise.” He kissed my cheek before he descended down the stairs to talk to Meagan. I stood there, frozen, thinking about what he just said. He won't hurt us? He's really trying his best to make me think what he's doing is okay. I have to live here for a maximum of probably three months. I want to know how much he tests me. How much can I take before I can't take it anymore? How long can I survive living with a man that I slowly am losing love for? I doubt I can stay for long. 

I never do. 

I decided to walk into my studio and locked the door. I headed for the workstation and sat on the chair. I sigh, falling into the chair. I look at the framed picture of me and Pete on our wedding day. We looked so happy. He was himself back then. 

He was the Pete I knew. Free, happy-go-lucky, funny, down-to-earth. How he changed is so scary. He isn't himself now. It scares me, and it probably scares Meagan. She's known him for so long, and she has never seen Pete like this. I pity her so much. She can't get out, for the sake of her child. She'd rather stay in this madhouse, than escape and marry her then fiancé, Mark. I bet she'd be happier with him. I could've seen her at their wedding. Happy as they could be. But now she's stuck here, married to her friend that she initially didn't love. But overtime, she grew to love him out of despair, as what I've seen. It's heartbreaking that Matteo and her dad couldn't help because they almost died from a snowboarding accident. They were hospitalised a week before Meagan and Pete's wedding. Only her mom and Pete's family attended. All I knew was they didn't want to be there. They knew it was wrong, but they were too afraid to bring it up. 

How fucking depressing. 

I grabbed the other framed picture. It was of me, Elliot and William, at a little party. I think we were all still in Uni here. I stared at how happy we looked. I shed a tear. I slid a thumb along the portion of the picture with me and William. “I'm so sorry, Will.” I sobbed. “I really am.” 

Conveniently, William called me. I answered, sniffling. He immediately got worried. “Patrick? What happened? Did Pete hurt you?” I stayed quiet, crying even louder. “Hello? Patrick? Are-are you okay?” 

I slowly started to speak. “William..I'm…I'm so fucking sorry, baby. I shouldn't have married him..” I burst into tears. William sighed. “It's okay, Patrick. I've forgiven you ages ago.” I cried even harder. It was harder to breathe. It's so painful to have no one here to comfort me. Someone that I loved truly. 

“I still l-love you, Will…I'm so fucking sorry..I still do love you..s-so much..” 

He started crying too. “I love you too, Trick. I swear. I'll get you out.” 

I started choking on my words. “I-I miss you. I-I miss you..so much.” 

“I miss you too, Soul Punk.” 

I heard footsteps, so I got rid of any signs that I was crying. “I-I.. um, I have to g-go now..um, I'll talk to you soon?” I stuttered. “Okay. See you, SP. Love you.” 

I took a few seconds before I responded. “L-love you too.” He hung up, and I shoved my phone back in my pocket. I sank into my chair, staring at the ceiling. I sighed even deeper, trying my hardest not to cry. Oh, not to mention I had my crying playlist playing the whole time. Moments later, I heard knocks on the door. “It's Meagan.” 

“Oh, um, yeah come in.” I said, as I unlocked the door. She walked in and I locked the door. Meagan sat down on the sofa and I landed back on the chair. She sighs, grabbing a pillow. “Patrick, I'm.. sorry.” She muttered. Startled, I questioned, “Wait—why are you apologising? You didn't do anything wrong!” She smiles slightly. 

“I'm sorry…that..you-you have to live like this. With someone you don't love.” She teared up. I rolled my chair closer to her, resting my hand on her shoulder. I hesitate to reply. “No, no. It isn't your fault.” 

She buried her face in the pillow. “I've fallen in love with a broken man…and—and he…hurts me..” She took a deep breath. “I want to make him feel better again, but..I c-can't…” she muttered. I pulled her into a hug. 

“If it weren't for my kindness and the million dollar deal…I would be with Mark now..”

A million dollars?! I furrowed my eyebrows. “A million?! You're saying, you were married off to him for a whole million?” She weakly nodded. “Even if I married Mark, I'd still eventually be wed to Pete.” 

“What do you mean?” She sighed, crying again. “He…he had a rare illness. He didn't have a lot of time to live.” I rubbed her back. “I-I'm so sorry, love…” I whispered. She wiped her tears and grinned weakly. “It's okay. Maybe there was a reason I was married to Pete. Even if he hurts us.” she said. “I guess what Papa said was correct. Sometimes we love someone and they go away, and we're in a situation where we have to stay even if you don't know or love that person,” she paused. “Maybe we were destined to be there. We are supposed to be their light to happiness.” I could only crack a tiny smile—barely, to comfort her. I had no clue how to respond to this. At all. Seriously, I pity her. She was a very popular model, was about to get married to one of the most prominent scientific researchers of our times but sadly this is what her luck got her to. 

I find our circumstances quite familiar—we were already successful on our own, Meagan as a Victoria Secret model, engaged to one of the geniuses of the 21st Century, Markus Anselm Edinger, myself a Grammy-nominated singer who was in an equally successful band. And now we're here; suffering with (I think) no money virtually, living under some tyrannical leader as our legal partner. 

The depressing fact? I can escape. But she can't. She's legally owned by Pete. Meagan is reminded of this daily. She can't go out on her own. She always has to have Pete with her. Pete never contacts her father, who still lives in Germany, to update him on how his own daughter is doing. Matteo can't meet her often, neither can either of her siblings. I, however, can easily get out of this situation by just signing some papers and running away. Once I sign the papers, he isn't my husband anymore obviously. Meaning, I can probably live with Matteo in his childhood home in Southern Germany. And maybe William, if he survives. 

I sighed. “Yeah, I remember that.” She looks back up to face me, her right hand on my shoulder. “Talking about Papa, have you heard from him?” She lowers her tone of voice. She had a concerned, slightly concerned face. I bite my cheek. I don't know, that's the answer I want to say. I genuinely have no idea how he's doing. The only way I can contact him is through Matteo, since her dad's well, his uncle. Problem is, Matteo has been quite unreachable at the moment. He doesn't read my messages often now. Most calls are diverted to voicemail or Elliot, who also doesn't answer. So, that isn't a choice. “No,” I flatly answered. She sighed, a frown slowly forming on her lips. Meagan misses him. That sure is very certain. “Haven't heard from him. But what Matteo told me is that he's still in Dresden. That's all we know.” Her frown rises, now her lips a straight line. Her eyes are still staring at the carpet. “Dresden…”

I hummed. “Yeah. Dresden.” She swallowed, and I could feel some tension. “Mum…no...Jenny..she..”

Her fists clenched. Meagan was reminded of her mum, Jenny, who was the one who 'sold' her to Pete. She was never there for her growing up, and so Meagan grew up with her step-dad Hans and her grandma in Bristol. I grew up with Matteo, and she's his cousin. Weird thing is, whenever they wanted to meet, she was the one who often came over to Newcastle. 

Why? Because they know Jenny was there somewhere. They knew that if they visited, Jenny would pop up and ask for more money. For context, Hans (Meagan's step-dad), married Jenny but got his money stolen by her. So they separated quickly after they got married when Meagan was around two months old, her brother Gabriel three years old and elder sister Victoria five. They all never adopted Hans' last name until Gabe and Vicky were around 10. Funny that Jenny was married to this dude named Fraser Camper (That's where the surname came from) for like seven years until Fraser ran away to Iceland. 

But when Hans had to go deal with his company stuff with Matteo, Jenny suddenly appeared again. This was also around the time Markus got diagnosed. Knowing that Jenny loves money, Pete contacted her saying that she would get a million in exchange for the daughter she never raised, obviously she said yes. While that whole 'transaction' was happening, Markus was admitted to hospital. He was slowly dying, so Pete took his chance. Took away Meagan, and married himself to her for a million. The tabloids of course picked their story up, but Pete and several of what I heard, pimps and gang leaders paid hell a lot of money to not get the story out. So all the public got was just Pete getting married again. 

Why am I blabbering? Jesus, I just learnt the story and I'm acting like I know everything. I snap back into reality. Meagan's still angry, but she's crunching my shirt. I let her do it. “Fucking bitch.” she spat. That's in reference to Jenny. Of course. 

“I can't believe she did that when Papa and Matteo were in the hospital. She sold me, and—and now I'm miserable.” The words escaped her pale lips, as she teared up. “But he's keeping me company, my little angel. I don't wanna leave him alone. I want to be there for him.” I pulled her into another hug. She gripped tighter. 

“I'm so glad you woke up. Maybe if you leave, Pete'll change.” We pull away. 

I asked, “Can you help, Meag?” She nodded. “Elliot got some papers ready for you. Whenever, you sign it and you're free.” 

“Is.. is it okay if I..um, run away with William?” She looks surprised. “Why not?” 

“I love him, but I'm sca—” 

“Matteo and Elliot have it covered. No worries.” Of course I'm skeptical. I question again. “Ar–are you sure? Y'know, Pete's got connections and—” 

She simply smiled. “Again, I said, Matteo and El have it handled. You just have it sit down and watch everything unfold, okay?” She's so confident while saying this. She has all her trust in Matteo. The only other man in her life that she truly treasures other than her step-dad. I nodded, cracking a tiny smile. Meagan places a hand on my shoulder and rubs it. 

“You've got this. I know you do. You're a strong person. I know you will survive.” 

She gets up and walks down, presumably to get some lunch ready. I sat there, tears in my eyes because I'm scared. You'd never expect that from me but I am. I don't want to lose William, nor do I want to lose myself. I don't want to succumb to Pete's poison-laced words, or to face the horrible feeling of that force hitting my body, I don't want that. But I have to. I want to protect Meagan and her child and lastly myself. I want to make sure I make it out alive, and the baby and herself as well. I don't want her to get hurt. 

This is my mission for now. Protect her, love him, and find me again. 

“I'll be back, Bilvy. I promise.”


End file.
